"Allah mencintai kita dgn cara-Nya sendiri. Kadang dgn cara yg gak kita mengerti sampe2 kita mikir bahwa Allah benci kita :')" - Dian Pelangi

 mungkin gw sering banget ngepost kata-kata itu, dan mungkin gw sering ngebahas soal ini.
hari kamis gw dapet kabar kalo misalnya sahabat gw Vatia mau pindah, gw shock pas tau itu soalnya kalo gw ada freetime pasti gw maennya sama dia, dan gw sama keluarga nya tuh udah deket banget. gw kalo maen ke rumah dia,itu tuh udah kaya rumah 'gw'. waktu sd pasti setiap hari jumat gw maen sama dia selama 4 tahun. dan barusan dia pamitan mau pindah...... sumpah itu shock banget pas dia nelpon kalo udah di depan rumah gw dan mau pamita. serasa ada yang ilang :" langsung ada pikiran "ntar gw kalo ada freetime maen sama siapa?" dan yang bikin shock juga adalah Laras mau pindah juga ntar semester depan, itu tuh nambah gimana gitu....


hubungannya mereka berdua sama kalimat itu adalah, kaya Allah ngambil orang-orang yang gw sayang walau ga semuanyaO:) soalnya gw masih blom menemukan temen yang 'segila' mereka hahahaha cuma life must go on :")

"We are changing because we are growing up, we are not in neverland, we are not peterpan"

the lesson for my life

like most people said, teenager is confusing. they act  like adult but they think like child. so their parent will so worry about them. but the teenager feeling is so sensitive, how much pain in their heart if they disappointed with thing who espesially what they really want. it is so much hurt when they get disappoint espesially from the people who they love.



now I know how much pain that my sister get when she was 15 years old. pain that from me, from my parent. if I compare my pain and her pain I think she get more pain than me when she was 15 years old. But I think is the best way from her, Allah never give a problem that we can't through it. when we go back to 3 years ago, she didn't accepted from senior high school that she want to get in, she had problem for adaptasion (like me) when she get to senior high school, but she just patien to through it. and now go back to a year ago she didn't accepted from university that she want to get in. but look now, she got scholarship untill she graduated from her university, she pass the selected round 2 as student exchange in Malaysia, just one more step again she can go to Malaysia :D I always pray for her :)



now I more believe that Allah always fair. no matter how much hurt, pain I get, I only through it with pray, patient, smile and try to find the result of my problem.



I miss those people who always make me smile, I miss my bestfriends, I miss my sister, I miss my IXCyber, I miss my old life. I know it will make me grow up. I know...
but I really really miss those people :"

It's true

"People are always telling me to smile, like smiling is going to just take away all the hurt and pain. Well I've tried that, I've tried hiding my sarrows and covering the sadness in smiles and what I've learned is that when it hurts this much, inside your heart always has a way of showing it no matter how many mask you wear" - Unknown

Tyler Ward - The Hardest Thing

lagu ini saya temukan di youtube yang saya sedang melihat video fanfics. karna lagunya enak saya pun mencari lirik lagunya, dan yap. liriknya dalem banget-_-

Tyler Ward - The Hardest Thing

Still framed photograph
Of you and me together
Is all I have of me and you
Anymore
We were so in love and
We thought it'd last forever
but in the storm
We were torn

And I won't forget you
Don't regret you
The hardest thing I've had to do
Is how to live without you
And I wonder why
We both walked away
I'm lost without you
Still crazy for you
Just turn around come back
Because your smile is overdue
And I miss
I miss you

If I only knew the words to say
That would make you turn around
I would say the words to you
More than a million times
It's been forever but that hasn't changed
What you mean to me
And darling can't you see?

And I won't forget you
Don't regret you
The hardest thing I've had to do
Is how to live without you
And I wonder why
We both walked away
I'm lost without you
Still crazy for you
Just turn around come back
Because your smile is overdue
And I miss
I miss you

I'm sorry for all I did
What I said
And the things I hid
I'm finally over me
Is that too late for you?
I can't imagine where I'd be
If you had never rescued me
You gave the ultimate
Now I need you
Yes I need you

And I won't forget you
Don't regret you
The hardest thing I've had to do
Is how to live without you
And I wonder why
We both walked away
I'm lost without you
Still crazy for you
Just turn around come back
Because your smile is overdue
And I miss
I miss you 

I'm so tired with all of this. I know I don't allowed to say 'I'm tired' cause it just make me more tired. but I think sometimes it didn't make a sense for me.
I miss someone who just always make me laugh. someone who taught me if we patient we will get a great news.

"B-egin your day w/ L-ove in your heart E-xpect blessings S-hare goodness S-hine like the sun I-nspire someone N-ever forget that G-od is with us when we obey HIM." - anonymous

hey, liat disana ada perempuan. yap perempuan itu berumur 15 tahun. dia adalah remaja yang senang bermain dan belajar. dia tahu di umurnya sekarang adalah masa yang rentan untuk remaja. tapi tahukan kamu, kalo dia belum pernah merasakan hal seperti ini? hal yang saat membuatnya stres. hal yang sangat membingungkan. dia selalu bertanya mungkinkah hal ini wajar? dia tidak tahu apa yang harus dilakukan untuk menyelesaikan masalahnya. dia hanya bisa bersabar..... :)

Ha Ha Ha

Disaat seperti sekarang yang membuat saya sangat "down". setidaknya ada sesuatu yang membuat saya bersemangat. saya menemukan lagu snsd yang memang artinya tentang semangat untuk menjalani hidup. judul lagu itu "Ha Ha Ha". karna lagu snsd berbahasa korea, akhirnya saa menemukan arti lagu itu.

Girls' Generation - Ha Ha Ha

Hey sweetie, hey sweetie, don't give it up!
Hey sweetie, hey sweetie, don't give it up!

when it's tough, hahaha
everybody together, hahaha
laugh, yes, yes, louder
Hahahaha hahaha

today was another a difficult day
even when the world is noisy
if you only worry, nothing will get done
now get up and shake it off, the door is opening

1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4! 
the main character on the skylight stage 
that's us, it's you
I'm standing in the world
shining like a burning flame

when it's tough, hahaha
everybody together, hahaha
laugh, yes, yes, louder
Hahahaha hahaha

if you fall seven times, laugh eight times
even if nothing is working out
you can't just worrying about it 
now straighten up once more and try again


1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4! 
the main character on the skylight stage 
that's us, it's you
I'm standing in the world
shining like a burning flame

the main character on stage called life
that's us, it's you
I'm standing in the world
it's good feeling to laugh together

ha ha ha ha ha, like this
you just can't smile with only your eyes
you can't, laugh like me 
Hahahaha hahaha

Hahahaha hahaha
laugh, yes, yes, louder
Hahahaha hahaha
when it's tough, hahaha

everybody together, hahaha
laugh, yes, yes, louder
Hahahaha hahaha

the main character on stage called life
that's us, it's you
I'm standing in the world
shining like a burning flame

the main character on stage called life
that's us, it's you
I'm standing in the world

the main character on stage called life
that's us, it's you
I'm standing in the world
shining like a burning flame

on the skylight stage 

ini video yang ada lirik inggrisnya tapi lirik koreanya pake tulisan korea

ini yang lirik nya pake tulisan latin

Life is not as easy as what you ever thought before.

Kadang blog adalah tempat buat curhat saya. karna dengan menulis cerita di blog kadang saya merasa masalah saya "sedikit" menghilang dari diri saya walaupun masih ada. tapi dengan begitu kadang saat saya membuka blog saya kembali, masalah-masalah yang saya curhat-in di blog itu seperti keluar kembali atau saya kembali mengingatnya. disaat saya ingin menghapus curhat-an saya itu kadang saya berpikir, kalau saya menghapus curhat-an saya yang itu. saya tidak akan punya acuan kebelakang untuk mengarahkan hidup saya ke depan. dan mungkin kalau saya tidak menghapusnya, dan saat saya sudah besar nanti dan membaca cerita itu kembali, saya akan mengetahui bagaimana saya menghadapi hidup saya dengan cerita-cerita itu. O:)



walaupun sisi buruknya adalah saya mungkin akan terus menglihat kebelakang karna keluhan-keluhan saya disini. tapi saya berusaha untuk tidak mengeluh dengan hidup saya yang sedang saya lalui. :D



karena saya adalah pecinta quote, karena semangat saya akan naik jika saya membaca quote yang memotivasi saya. ini adalah beberapa quote saya dari sekian quote yang saya suka :

"Work hard. Believe. Be humble. Listen. Love. Don't make the same mistake twice. Never settle. Be confident." - @IslamicThinking
"Life is like an elevator. There are ups and downs, but in the end, you control which direction it goes" - @wizkhalllifa
"Make the most of your age because you're not going to be a teenager forever'' - Sabirul Islam Quote
"I am stronger because I know my weaknesses. I am wise because I know I’ve been foolish. I laugh because I’ve known sadness"- @werejustteenss
"I'm going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like it's all a dream, and pretend like it's not hurting me" - @ohteenquotes
"I'm an artist, I paint on a smile. I'm an actress, I hold back the tears. I'm a doctor, trying to fix a broken heart." - @autocorrects


 quote yang saya bold adalah quote yang paling saya suka, saya berprinsip apapun yang terjadi tersenyum lah. because I don't like people know that I'm sad, but just my real bestfriends know me if I'm sad.

kadang disaat gw berangkat sekolah, gw ngeliat mobil jemputan Ummul Quro. apalagi kalo ngeliat yang ada dijemputan itu pake seragam kuning kotaknya. yang selalu dibenak gw kalo ngeliat itu tuh....
"Hey, gw pernah pake seragam itu loh"
"gw pernah sekolah disitu loh"
"gw ga nyangka sekarang gw udah bukan murid UQ lagi... gw udah jadi alumni!!!"
"gw masih inget loh gimana rasanya pake seragam itu yang seragam itu udah sempit dibadan gw"


itu tuh semua ucapan yang ada dibenak gw kalo gw ngeliat jemputan UQ O:)

Miss those moment.

I miss when we can do what we wanna do. I miss when we laughing without thinking another problem. I miss when we can said what we wanna say without scared we will hurt them. I miss when we talking with freely. I miss those people who knew me so well, so I can do what I wanna do without scared. I miss when we shared our traditional food from our hometown. I miss when we laughing together because one person just joking. I miss when our teacher angry with us. I miss when we can act like crazy person. I miss those moment so bad. I just wanna meet you all. Remember those memory always make me cry. I don't know how many times I cry because I miss you, IXCyber :"

Kalo ketemu gw jangan sombong sombong yaaaa, kalian semua selalu ada di hati gw. gw ga bakal pernah punya teman kaya kalian.